Ask a kid what a man is and they will usually describe the way they see their fathers. “A man is big,” or “a man is strong.” God forbid they say,”I don’t know.” When I was a shorty I was obsessed with getting older and becoming an adult. Adults can do and say whatever they want. I’d deepen my voice because that’s how men talk. Maybe the adults will listen to me more if I sounded like one of them.
Leading into high school, manhood seemed pretty simple. Go to work, love your wife, and take care of your kids. High school was full of boys pretending to be men. Play fights turn into real tussles because of bruised pride. If you’re still a virgin, you’re still a little boy. Lying about the first time like it’s a rite of passage. We were retelling what happened in the video we watched the night before instead of sharing the truth. My ego is too sensitive to allow myself to be embarrassed.
In college, mistreating women was the wave. An unearned superiority complex passed down from the upperclassmen shaded our views in ways that caused irreparable harm. Put up numbers in the dorm like a real man. Playing games with young women’s hearts because that’s what they told us to do. Boys are easily influenced but, we thought we were men.